It’s time for something new…
So here it is… its been a big job but we’ve managed to deliver VZ-LAX
After 110 years of trading solely in pastilles we launched the eagerly anticipated Vocalzone Tea. The product launch exceeded our expectations and the profits have allowed us to further explore the science behind vocal care; it was poo pooed by some naysayers but the logical next step was anally inserted Vocalzone. The torpedo shaped glycerine suppository provides both laxative effects and throat irritation relief, allowing you to keep a clear voice whilst you have a good clear out.*
Benefits of using VZ-LAX
- Soothes and clears both throat and rectum
- More than cures constipation
- Relieves throat irritation
- Helps keep a clear voice
- Contains natural active ingredients
- Suitable for Vegetarians and Vegans
- Encourages closer bond between yourself and a friend
How does it work?
Insert the VZ-LAX by Vocalzone™ into the rectum. For best results you should be lying down and stay in that position for 15 – 20 minutes so that it stays in the rectum. This is an ideal opportunity for listening to a prog rock epic, perhaps something by Yes or early Genesis. At Vocalzone we’re all about the personal touch; asking a friend** for assistance when inserting the suppository can strengthen your bond as they get to know you inside and out. The suppository will spew forth its contents stimulating the muscles in the intestine allowing you to spew forth*.
If you’re feeling a bit uptight the day of use it may be worth investing in a lubricant. If you’re too embarrassed at the corner shop you could always purchase a chap stick and mash that up.+ As your bowels clear so will your throat. With clear passages top and bottom all you’ll have to worry about is hitting a bum note.
*Wearing a nappy after use is essential
**Must be close friend
+ In some cases a bit of spit will do
Fast Acting
VZ-LAX by Vocalzone™ is so fast acting you’ll have a slick voice and super slick pants in minutes
A Memorable Experience
If you seek insertion help from a friend this will be an experience the both of you will never forget.
Suitable for Vegetarians and Vegans
VZ-LAX does not discriminate – nobody is barred from the experience of a clear passages top and bottom.
Buy VZ-LAX Today
Be amongst the first to try this ground breaking new product from the makers of Vocalzone. Click below for pricing, national availability, or to buy your pack of VZ-LAX online today.
What Customers are saying about VZ-LAX
Tom
Chelmsford
‘At first I thought the idea was crazy, but when we had a bit of down time before the gig our bassist just happily bent me over and slipped it up there. Wearing a nappy for the performance was so liberating – I didn’t have to worry about being caught short and I was at least two stone lighter by the end of the show.’
Margaret
Hull
‘Being a teacher is both rewarding and stressful, but ever since I’ve been using the Vocalzone VZ-LAX with a nappy two stresses have been off my mind; using the toilet and a sore throat.’
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